I'm Gettin Old Yall

I know I'm gettin old. Rap music is starting to suck. If I do listen to the radio, its talk radio. I notice how disrespectful and misguided the youth is. I be up in the the club and I think to myself: "Damn, these bitches is old. Damn, these bitches is my age!" I can't put beers away the way I used to. If I drink 3 beers now, I'm takin a nap. Everything gives me gas. EVERYTHING. Brushing my teeth gives me the winds (gas). I don't even rock the mean lean when I'm driving these days. My gas mileage went way up beacause I drive super slow now. Shorty wants to bang all night long. All night long? I ain't 20 no more. I can guarantee one great episode but a repeat performance is out of the question. So when I'm lookin for my shoes and socks please don't rub on my balls trying to get an encore because the only thing I wanna do is go home, make a sandwich and catch some z's. I took Viagra one time. You know how the commercial says if you have an erection that lasts more than 6 hours see a doctor? Mine lasted more than 6 hours and I didn't call a doctor I called more bithces and had a heart attack. So ladies, I ain't selfish, I'm just worried bout my health. As soon as I get gray pubes I'm gettin a pipe, a smoking jacket and a handicapped tag for the car.

I'll call you back...

You ever have to tell a girl that cuz you don't want to talk to her no more? It's the easiest way to get off of the phone. "I'll call you back.....'click'". Now you can go make that sandwich or finish playing that game or rolling that blunt, or doing anything you do a lot better without talking to her. But, you know it's coming. It might not be the next day or even the next week, but that call is coming. The "why you didn't call back?" call. So we'll avoid that call to avoid the "why you didn't call me' conversation. That sucks. Recapping why i didn't call back. Well, first of all, i was done talking to you at that time and i'll call you back is the easiest way to peace out. You can't really tell her that so you avoid texts messages and calls. So you end up losing a friend. Boo-hoo. If your game is tight as pigeon pussy (like mine) you'll be albe to call her in a few months and tell her some bullshit ass story. "I got robbed, and all they stlole was my phone." "I 've been calling you and i kept getting a busy signal, must've been the network." "You know I do volunteer work in Guatamala right?"It may take a few months but you ain't gotta really explain yourself.