I know I'm gettin old. Rap music is starting to suck. If I do listen to the radio, its talk radio. I notice how disrespectful and misguided the youth is. I be up in the the club and I think to myself: "Damn, these bitches is old. Damn, these bitches is my age!" I can't put beers away the way I used to. If I drink 3 beers now, I'm takin a nap. Everything gives me gas. EVERYTHING. Brushing my teeth gives me the winds (gas). I don't even rock the mean lean when I'm driving these days. My gas mileage went way up beacause I drive super slow now. Shorty wants to bang all night long. All night long? I ain't 20 no more. I can guarantee one great episode but a repeat performance is out of the question. So when I'm lookin for my shoes and socks please don't rub on my balls trying to get an encore because the only thing I wanna do is go home, make a sandwich and catch some z's. I took Viagra one time. You know how the commercial says if you have an erection that lasts more than 6 hours see a doctor? Mine lasted more than 6 hours and I didn't call a doctor I called more bithces and had a heart attack. So ladies, I ain't selfish, I'm just worried bout my health. As soon as I get gray pubes I'm gettin a pipe, a smoking jacket and a handicapped tag for the car.
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